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July 10th, 2013
09:27 PM ET

Father ostracized for taking paternity leave

Taking time off to raise a child.

A new dad recently wrote about his unexpected experience while on paternity leave.

Tom Stocky is the Director of Product Management for Facebook and on his last day of his paternity leave, he reflected on his experience.

During Stocky's four months of paid leave he says he was often ridiculed by other moms because he wasn't working.

"What I never got used to was the double-standard for fathers when it comes to childcare. I experienced it predominantly in three forms: (1) low expectations for fathers, (2) negative perceptions of working mothers, and (3) negative perceptions of "non-working" fathers."

That criticism may be in part, because Stocky is in the minority when it comes to taking time off.

Studies show only 1 in 20 fathers take more than two weeks off after their child was born.

OutFront tonight: CNN Contributors and expectant parents Margaret Hoover and her partner in crime and life, John Avlon.


Filed under: Feature
soundoff (2 Responses)
  1. TraciM

    I agree completely. As a feminist, and a woman and mother, I WANTED my husband to take leave but couldn't because of company rules (We both worked at the same company at the time my son was born). My husband is a wonderful nurturer. There are points where he is better at soothing and comforting than I am. The problem with Patriarchy is that it imposes these views of what masculinity should be, and people cling to those. Feminist should support this but I admit there are a few out there who don't get that. Seriously, this should not be an issue. A parent is a parent and deserves time with their child.

    April 4, 2014 at 10:31 am | Reply
  2. Dylan

    There is a double standard and there should NOT be. This boils down to the stereotype that men can't be nuturing–which is bogus. Women aren't the only ones who know how to take care of a child. The mothers who gave this guy grief should be ashamed of themselves.

    July 11, 2013 at 2:54 pm | Reply

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